Bit the bullet and (after much deliberation and seeking God’s direction) rolled up my sleeve for my country for free cookies for that cool needle scar. Pretty uneventful I have to say, though I had no idea what to expect after the poke; so here’s my experience with the most unnerving thing since, well, 2020.
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Hour 1 – All good, don’t feel much different; shoulder feels like an ass cheek that just got a steroid shot – basically like Zooey Deschanel, perky and sexy but slightly off.
Hour 2 – Feeling pretty sleepy; but that has nothing to do with the vaccine shot, and everything to do with my love affair with late night re-runs.
Hour 3 – Wondering if this injection will bestow upon me the strength and agility of an enhanced human being at the peak of physical conditioning; or perhaps just give me the runs.
Hour 4 – The vaccine just made the power in my house go out. Or maybe it’s the storm outside. I don’t know anymore – CNN and Fox News have me spooked… (and the National Weather Service “FLASH FLOOD WARNING” phone alert just about gave me a heart-attack).
Hour 5 – Slight soreness in the shoulder; basically the equivalent of 32 “punch-bugs” minus the denial, arguing, and sweaty road-tripping.
Hour 6 – Nada Nueva. And here I was thinking I might experience a dull, aching sensation – much like one would get 5 mins into watching a Katherine Heigl movie… or just looking at her for 5 mins… go fig.
Hour 7 – Still no superpowers. What a jip.
Hour 8 – “Where’s the kaboom? There was supposed to be an Earth-shattering kaboom!”
Hour 9 – Well, the vaccine definitely hasn’t affected my appetite. Adios, Lemon Oreos. #ripcremefilledcookies
Hour 10 – Ok, time to spin the roulette wheel and head to bed. What will tomorrow’s reaction be? TUNE IN NEXT TIME FOR THE CONTINUING ADVENTURES OF…!! Really, nothing more to see here – I think this one’s drama-free (which I’ll totally take, thank you very much).
Thanks, Poppa. #alwaysfaithful