Step 1: Randomly discover, and sign up for, an online, virtual 5K (using real American dollars!)
Step 2: Accept the inevitable loss of said American dollars, whether truly running or not, then accept the full bucket of guilt for wasting money if you don’t actually run
Step 3: Eventually get off the rumpkus, put on the running shoes and shorts, go outside, lock the door firmly behind you (to ensure you can’t bail and immediately go back in), and head for the run
Step 4: Do the thing, almost pass completely out, but survive and return home proud of your skirting a hospital visit.
Step 5: Submit your entirely unimpressive run/walk/jog/crawl to said online, virtual 5K host
Step 6: Receive in the mail your “congratulations, you bought a medal for a run you would’ve done for exercise anyways” swag pack! (Complete with Easter Bunny medal… 😂🥇)
